MCLC: Qingming jokes from the grave

[Denton, Kirk]

MCLC LIST
From: rujie wang (rwang at wooster.edu)
Subject: Qingming jokes from the grave
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A friend sent me these Qingming jokes from the grave, so I translated
them. The original follows the translation.

Rujie

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Qingming Festival (Tomb Sweeping Day) is upon us, many former
revolutionary martyrs and dead heroes called from the grave and made
queries about what had continued to preoccupy them.

Jiang Jie (the heroine from the novel Red Cliff) asked: “Is the GMD
Nationalist Party overthrown?” “Yes, it was;” She was told, “by Chen
Shuibian (the former president of the Republic of China in Taiwan).

 
Dong Cunrui (a PLA soldier killed in the Civil War) asked, “Are the
working people still treated as animals?” “They are not working anymore,”
he was told, “they have all been laid off from their posts.”

 
Wu Qionghua (the female lead figure from the film and ballet The Red
Brigade of Women) asked, “Are all my poor sisters liberated?” “Yes,” she
was told; “they are all very liberal minded and walking the streets now.”

 
Yang Zirong (the male lead figure in the revolutionary opera “Taking Tiger
Mountain by strategy”) asked, “Are all the bandits eliminated?” “They have
all switched jobs and are working for the Public Security Bureau and
municipal courts now.” Yang Bailao (the landless farmer in the novel, film
and ballet “White Haired Girl”) asked, “Have all the landlords wiped out?”
“They have all joined the CCP.”
 

Lei Feng (a PLA soldier killed during peace time while working tirelessly
to serve the people) asked, “then, how about the capitalists?” “They are
all now members of the People’s Congress and Political Consultative
Conference.”
 

Liu Hulan (a young woman communist that would rather die than sell out her
comrades in arms) asked, “Are all my fellow comrades in good hiding
places?” “They are all synonymous and invisible from the internet.”

Chairman Mao asked, “What is everyone busy doing nowadays?” “Playing the
poker game called ‘struggling against the landlords.” “I see; then I have
nothing to worry about.”
 

清明节快到了，地下的先烈们纷纷打来电话询问：

江姐问：国民党被推翻了么？
答：被阿扁推翻了。

董存瑞问：劳动人民还当牛做马吗？
答：不劳动了，都下岗了。

吴琼花问： 姐妹们都翻身得解放了吗？
答：思想解放了，都当小姐了。

扬子荣问：土匪都剿灭了 吗？
答：都改当公安和城管了。

杨白劳问：地主都消灭了 么？
答：都入党了。

雷锋问：那 资本家呢？
答：都进人大和政协了！

刘胡兰问：同志们都藏好了么？
答：都隐身上网了

毛主席问：大家现在都在忙什么？
答：都在斗地主！
毛主席：那我就放心了！