MCLC: If You Are the One undercover story

[Denton, Kirk]

MCLC LIST
From: Michael Keane <m.keane at qut.edu.au>
Subject: If You Are the One undercover story
***********************************************************

Source: Creative Transformations (2/6/14):
http://www.creativetransformations.asia/2014/02/an-undercover-story-if-you-
are-the-one/

An Undercover Story: If you are the one
By Coco Ma

Episode One

In China an intelligent single woman over 30 years old (or maybe 28
sometimes) is automatically tagged by society as a ‘leftover’. If this
woman has the title Doctor placed before her family name she is literally
speaking ‘smelly in the marriage market’ in the majority of people’s
minds. Well, that woman is me.

I spent almost 7 years living in Australia finishing my masters plus
doctoral degree in film and TV so that I could really have a better
position to work in this industry. I didn’t feel too bothered being single
and I occasionally enjoyed some casual dates. But when I took up a job
offer back in Beijing things started becoming a bit bizarre. Almost every
person I knew, not just my relatives, but office colleagues, company
clients and even total strangers in airplanes are suddenly enthusiastic to
set someone up for me. I’m not exaggerating: everyone says to me ‘Coco,
you should go on Feicheng wurao
<http://www.china.org.cn/top10/2012-09/12/content_26501768.htm>.’

If you haven’t heard of this show you’ve probably been living on an island
somewhere, either that or you are really uncool. It’s a television dating
show on Jiangsu Satellite Television Channel, which is one of China’s most
popular TV networks. Although it carries an English name If You Are the
One, the show’s Chinese title means ‘If you’re not sincere, then don’t
bother me.’ You kind of get the idea!

The show debuted in early 2010.

GAME RULES:

Single men appear one by one on stage before a group of 24 women, each
standing behind a podium with a light on it. More or less immediately, the
man picks one of them in secret that appeals to him. Then, through
conversation with the show’s host and a series of videos including
interviews with his friends, family, and coworkers, he reveals more about
himself, his life, and what he’s looking for in a mate. At any point, if a
woman decides she’s not interested in him, she can turn off the light on
her podium and trigger a heart-sinking electronic pulse sound to
communicate her rejection. Once the bachelor has finished being
introduced, if there are more than two lights on, he must walk up to the
podiums and turn lights off for the women he isn’t interested in until
only two are left. Then, he gets to ask those two questions, after which
he can choose to date one of them or make an offer to date whatever girl
he chose at the beginning, even if she turned her light off (though this
is risky as she may still reject his offer).
Don’t get me wrong, I am flattered when people ask me to join this show.
It has to be considered a big compliment for any girl. Every weekend the
crew goes to five major cities in China to interview potential
participants. Hundreds of girls line up to get a chance. Sometimes the
crew travels around the world to hunt for singles, including to Australia.

You must be either ‘special’ or ‘abnormal’ to be on stage in a group of 24
single women. Which of these was I?

Episode Two: How can I get on to Feicheng wurao?

I decide to try for the show under pressure from an irresistible force, a
very persuasive fan of Feicheng wurao—my mother! It seems like it is her
dream to see her only daughter on the stage fighting with another 23
females for a dating chance with some stranger. Anyway it is a quite
simple procedure to fill in the application form. I only have to click a
SUBMIT button on the popular Chinese dating website jiayuan.com which I
have signed on for previously. My profile has all my personal details
including my photo, my height, my age, my education level, my profession,
my horoscope, my blood type.

Then someone calls me two days later and congratulates me that I am
pre-selected as the candidate and asks me to attend a face-to-face
interview the following Saturday.

On Saturday I go to the interview point, which is the office of the dating
website. The reception is crowded with ‘boys’ and ‘girls’ fashionably
dressed. Many are complaining that they have waited for hours. When the
receptionist finds my name and ID on her list I enjoy the privilege of
jumping the queue and going straight to the director’s room.

The director is around my age. He says ‘you are a beautiful intelligent
woman.’ But that’s not good enough for him; he pushes me to think I can be
a very special woman, a female icon different than the others. He says
they already have had several female PhD students in the past. My doctoral
degree in creative writing with full scholarship in my second language
comes in handy. So to make myself more outstanding I conjure a magic math
trick. My five scholarships add up to approximate AU$200,000 during my
study and that amount of money is equal to more than 1 million RMB in
China. There and then my new label as a Feicheng wurao candidate is set as
a ‘female PhD with more than a million RMB in scholarships.’

That’s it! Thanks to my long-term study in Film and TV I know audiences
love such nonsensical eye-catching phrases! Then the director is suddenly
very interested in my personal life, such as how many boyfriends I had in
the past, and then he pops up the same question that I have been asked
millions of time— ‘Why you are single? You are a smart lovely woman and
you have a respectful job. How come you are still not married?’ Well, I
come up with the old standard answer: ‘I was too focused on my career’
rather than saying ‘my ex was a jerk’, although I had a gut feeling that
he would love to hear the dramatic answer.

After three long months of waiting I am told to prepare to join a two-day
shoot (Saturday and Sunday) located in a Beijing suburb. I’m very lucky
that I don’t need to travel to another city. Most of the candidates travel
from all over the country, sometime even from the other side of the earth.
My neighbor candidate No. 6, who is a fashion designer from Giorgio
Armani, flew 12 hours from Milan to Beijing just for the shoot.

Episode Three: Orientation

On the morning of the first day of shooting, all the new candidates gather
with the producer for an orientation. There are 24 women on stage every
episode and the faces are always changing. In order to help the audience
remember the girls the producer literally encourages us to find our own
‘label’. I meet a real African princess who speaks perfect Chinese and
whose grandpa is the Chief of a tribe in Bissau; then there is a creepy 25
year old online business owner who looks exactly like a child under 12;
and a young beautiful model with 1000 degrees myopia whose Chinese name
sounds Japanese! As well as these ‘freshmen’ the stage includes China’s
first female racing driver. She comes from an extremely wealthy family—to
be honest car racing is a damn expensive hobby in China. Maybe she’s too
fast to catch or just too intimidating for a Chinese guy. And then there
is ‘Sister of Explosion’, a woman who explodes her love at first sight
light for every single guy. The audience remembers her well. Also there is
the divorced Hong Kong airline stewardess who gets revenge by recounting
her ex-husband’s infidelity so that he too is well known to the Chinese
and international audience via the show.

I am getting the feeling it’s more like a sitcom than a dating show. I
wouldn’t say I enjoy the shoot. Before I performed on this show I was in
the entertainment industry for several years and I worked as a crew member
in three feature films. It is the very first time I have to be made-up and
do my own performance in front of a camera. The make-up artists and
dressers are very snobbish. In our group, there are several ‘stars’ who
have already been on the show for several months. They have the privilege
of choosing the sponsored dresses, jewelry, and having their hair done
first. As ‘freshmen’, what we get are the leftovers. Each girl has a
number representing her position and the stage is tactfully arranged. I am
No. 5 candidate on the stage. It seems No.5 is always reserved for a PhD
in the middle of the left section of the stage; this makes it easier for
the audience to follow. Spot No.1 or No. 24 is left for tomboys or
narcissists. They get to stand near the edge of the stage but the audience
loves watching them. No.11 and No.12 are in the middle of the stage; these
are the sexy goddesses.

It’s not exactly like Andy Warhol said, the famous line: ‘in the future
everyone will have 15 minutes of fame.’ Before the game starts the seniors
who have been on this show for more than 30 times tell us the most
important rule: ‘don’t forget to turn off the light’, otherwise, you can
be accidentally matched and will have to leave the stage. Well, let’s face
it you are not here to find a Mr. Right: you are standing here so that
more and more people will know your face. It is so hard for girls to get
on the most popular reality show in China. We are already winners from the
thousands of applicants, survivors from the hardest interview ever.

The bachelors who come on stage are not the main target. The millions
watching in front of TV or on their internet are the real market. Fame
follows the game. It is a free national advertisement for not only in the
marriage market but also in a person’s professional world, especially if
you own a business. Some of the female candidates stay on the show for
more than 6 months, sometimes even up to a year. Many get roles in new
commercials; some maybe will get a chance to become an actress. Of course
it’s not all fun and games. The candidates have to bear with the massive
cyber hunting of internet users. You’d better have strong nerve, believe
me. The seniors’ speech is certainly very inspiring and scaring.

As for the male candidates, there is a hidden rhyme and reason. In each
episode there will be five or six bachelors fronting the stage. Normally
the first one’s role is to create the atmosphere so he will be funny or
outraged; the second person may be an average or below average guy; the
third and fourth are more a lady’s man. The fifth will be back to average
or normal so that the show can end smoothly.

The shooting normally starts from 1 p.m. till 10 p.m. with two episodes
and one hour break. Wearing high heels and standing 8 hours under the very
hot spot lamps is torture. I secretly pay my highest respect to those who
has have the determination and strength to fly in for a shoot every second
week.

Episode Four: Reality Show

Just right before the ladies go on stage with music the producer hands
each of the new girls a small bottle of Erguotou—a famous Chinese vodka
with more than 50% alcohol and encourages us to ‘ganbei’ which means
‘bottoms up’.

When we are waiting to go on, a very cute guy wearing head phones calls my
name. I don’t recognize him. He is a little shy but is excited to talk to
me. Well, it turns out he is the executive director of the show and we had
the same major at the Communication University of China in Beijing a
decade ago. I was his senior. He said ‘you know what, you rocked in
college! Many boys in our grade had a crush on you’. My god, how I
laughed, ‘you should have told me earlier; in that case I might never need
to come to this show!’ Well, since he is cute I am about to ask him if he
was still single. Then the music starts, we need to walk.

This is an undercover story, so I am not going to spend too much time
describing the episodes. You’ll have to look on TV and the internet.
Anyway I reckon the cameras put 10 pounds on me. And there are the girls’
fights on the stage which are cut by the crew due to things getting really
ugly. Someone faints due to high temperature. We are forced to eat a meat
ball made by some horrible cook and pretend it tastes fantastic. Also
there is a disgusting guy who claims that he can tell if a woman is having
her period by literally smelling her. He literally smelt five girls like a
dog—creepy.

My unsuccessful romantic moment happens when a very handsome doctor gently
rejects me because of ‘age difference’. I am 6 years older than him. Later
he claims he came only for his beloved candidate, a woman who has been on
the show for more than 150 episodes and is 8 years older than him. He says
he has been in love with her on the TV for a long time. So this is like a
perfect dream-come-true fairytale. It proves again that every single girl
can find her white horse prince in the show. Audiences buy that a lot.

As an experienced TV/Film maker I sense there is a bug here: the fake
arrangements hurt my feelings. After the two love birds leave the stage I
question the host on this perfect bachelor’s choice in front of the
audience and camera. The host said ‘yeah, even I couldn’t understand his
concept—he said the age was a problem but he chose a woman who is
obviously older than you’.

Well, in the end I get the inside information that he was hired by the
crew to go after the woman because she never leaves the show. The crew
needs to eliminate some old faces to keep the program fresh and to fill in
new flesh. As far as I know later these two love birds never went out.

Episode Five: My real life after Feicheng wurao

My four episodes are continuously broadcast during the three-day national
Labor Day holiday. My Chinese name becomes a meme on Baidu Word Search
overnight. Fans blog about me and then some of my high school classmates
defame me on the Feicheng wurao official Weibo (Chinese twitter). My high
school teacher then defends me from his own weibo account. Countless
personal messages are sent to my Facebook account from Chinese students
studying in Australia. My previous co-worker’s brother who is now living
in the U.S. calls her to ask if this No.5 is the same person she had
mentioned to him. One of my exes in Toronto took a photo of me from his TV
and then ‘what’s-upped’ me to find out what’s up with me.

The most fascinating part of my Feicheng wurao adventure is when I receive
a love letter, or at least a recommendation letter titled ‘I am the next
Ang Lee’; this comes from a 38 year old high-school graduate building
constructor who claims that he is the perfect mate for me. He then asks me
to forward his five screen synopsis to any producers I know in order to
help him realize his dream of being a screen writer/director (let’s face
it everybody now knows that I am working in film industry thanks to the
show).
My mother is very happy. She tells everyone she knows to watch my show.
Then my aunt’s neighbor wants to set a blind date for me and her son who
is living in Boston. They suggest we become internet friends first and
ignore the almost 12 hours’ time differences between our two cities.

Episode Six: The End

I accidentally forget to turn off the light when I am day-dreaming during
the recording. I am the only girl who saves the light for the guy and he
picks me. That’s how I end up leaving the show after just 5 episodes.
According to his video clip he is five years younger than me, a handsome
successful interior designer / business owner driving a BMW. We win a
Maldives luxury holiday by matching up. Our one and only official lunch
date is after the day of the shoot. I tell him that it was a mistake then
he goes back his city. We never meet each other again.

Four weeks later I get a call from a person claiming he is a police
officer and he has my number from the Feicheng wurao crew. He asks me if I
know the guy I was matched with in the show very well and if I know where
he is. According to this person, the man is listed as wanted by police
<http://www.cnxz.com.cn/newscenter/2013/2013060782038.shtml> due to
several fraud cases. He asks me to call back if this bachelor ever calls
me again. That is very scary.

Three months later, my name drops off from Baidu search, finally.

That’s the end of my journey to If You Are the One. I didn’t find the one.
Seriously, I would say, just don’t bother if you are sincere.

Dr. Coco Xiaolu Ma currently works at Motion Picture Association (MPA),
Beijing Office. She obtained her PhD at Griffith University in Brisbane,
Australia. Her research area includes Hong Kong and Mainland film
industries, Asian cinemas, China international film Co-productions and
Chinese new media. She was a journalist working for Beijing Youth
Newspaper in China for five years. Later became a script writer for the
China Central Television (CCTV) and also worked for the Sina.com which is
the largest Chinese-language infotainment web portal. She had rich work
experience in film and TV industry as a screenplay writer, director
assistant, translator and executive producer for China international
co-productions.