Missing Pallet Jack

[ASC Physics Front Desk]

Dear esteemed colleagues,

At 1500 hours it was brought to my attention that a Mr. Pallet Jack's whereabouts are currently unknown.  Pallet Jack is presumed to be unarmed and inanimate, and he was last seen wearing nothing.
The front desk is issuing an APB on Pallet Jack, if you have any information regarding his current location a reward will be issued in the amount of 'whatever food is currently up for grabs in the kitchen'.

We all just want him to be found safe and returned to the front desk, we miss you Jack.

Thanks,
Derek

Front Desk Staff
Physics Research Building
Room 1040
614-292-5713
191 W. Woodruff Ave.
Columbus, Ohio, 43210
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